Lolita Love

Wow.. It's been awhile since I update my blog.. *wipe the dust away* Haha, I am so speechless lately.. No I should say, I have a lot to express but it can't be express out...

Anyway, just 2 days ago.. Went to an event - Sun-U Animangaki, with Cheryl, Emmanuel, Jian Leng, Badrissa, Misaki, Anthony~ Was very very very fun, but.... 2 things, 1st was blackcatz wasn't there that time.. T^T She is busy with her own SPM... And 2nd, was very tired at the same time too because me and Cheryl did our costume last minute.. I mean we have our costume ready but just left the splashing "blood" part.. So we stayed up very late just to soak it with coffee and "blood" and dry it as fast as possible.... Even though we slept at 3am, the other 2 boys - Emmanuel and Jian Leng slept later than us because of wanting to watch their "lau zha po" movie.... XDDD

I don't have picture of that event, so still waiting for my friends to upload it then only will talk more about it in my blog...

Will just post 1 picture of me now 1st.. teehee... (Finally~ I got my nurse hat~ Hahaha..)
*Thank you Joseph so much for this photo!!*

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So as for now... I am so into Lolita~~~!!!!!! (TTATT) I want to buy Lolita!! It's been so long since I buy Lolita thanks to the GazettE.. (=.=);;; I miss my days when I wear Gothic Lolita... I miss black color.... \(>A<)/ I miss the feeling of me when I am wearing Lolita~~~ Classic~~ Gothic~~ AHHH!!!!!! I am going nuts!!!!! (@~~@)

(Below pictures are from Gothic Lolia Bible vol.37)

Gothic Lolita, Kuro Lolita and Classic Lolita are my favorite~


Hope I can at least buy a branded one-piece before this year ends... (=3=)

You were...

When was the last time I saw your smiling face?
I can't remember clearly because I thought it was just only a dream....
At that time, everything stops according to our feelings.
It was raining............
You were there.. Standing, holding an umbrella.......
I shouted your name and tried to hold you in my arms, but I failed.....
You smiled to me and just waved goodbye.....
And left me speechless....
I was froze by the rain drops....
Why must you leave without telling me?
I have already begged The God no to take you away from me
But there was no responds...

The time we spent together become memories to me
Replaying non-stop in my mind
You lifted me so high
Then now put me back to where I belong....

Before this, I wanted to convey my gratitude to you so much,
I wanted to tell you how much I love you
How important you were to me......
And now I have regretted for not doing that earlier....

People always say live everyday as it were the last...
I have finally realize the true meaning of it now
But I guess it's too late,
Now that you are gone, I live tomorrow as it were the first time..........

Mwahahaha!!

Yessshh! Finally me dear the GazettE single - Red, arrived~! >DDD Damn, the songs are awesome~! 3 of the songs - Red, An Unbearable Fact and Vermin are just damn nice that I don't even know how to describe how nice it is.... XDDDD
Then few days ago, went to Kinokuniya together with BlackCatz~ And of course and as usual, we went in Kinokuniya and come out NEVER empty handed... hahaha... We bought Gothic Lolita Bible and Popteen Taiwan version....

Both of us were very tired, so decided to go to Secret Recipe for lunch. Catz was very tired because she was wearing high heels... ==

After lunch and all the chatting, we walked around because we have all the time on that day... Then again, was too tired and our hearts were not satisfied, so ended up...... We went to Starbucks again.... Though we were nearly going to be broke... XDDDD

We shared a large Ice-chocolate together... XDDD Because our money were limited... == hahahaha~!!!


After Starbucks, I still DON'T feel satisfied... So I asked Catz to accompany me back to Kinokuniya and........Shit... == I bought another Kera magazine.. XDDD And the funniest thing was, Catz ended up bought her AKB48 photobook too~! LMAO~! XDDD

We stayed there until night because need to wait for Catz parents.

I didn't knew that in the night, KLCC would be that nice~~~~ The awesome light from the KLCC~ (See the fuwa-fuwa hairband tied on Catz hand?? She is in love with it~ XDDD)

And then after that whole tiring day in KLCC, I stayed overnight in Catz house~ The next morning, I helped Catz to make up~ :D The make up was ok, but Catz seems to love it a lot, so it makes me happy of coz~
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And lately... Thanks to Catz.... I am in love with AKB48 too~~~~~

Minami Takahashi daisuki~~~~~~

Not again..

I need some time to be alone, some time for me to figure out what is this... that's what I am telling myself now....

Ever since I meet you, my life change so much. I am feeling sad, happy, confused, loved.... All the feelings I usually don't feel much and don't care much. Now my everyday life, I am looking forward for something..... Always waiting for something to happen.....

My heart is singing a song now......is call 心音 by Yanawaraba...... I don't know much about the meaning but it seems to fill the hole in my heart....... It is, somehow, sad.. But happy in some ways.... I choose to be alone but don't want to be left alone..... What the hell am I thinking now.........

Miss me Besties

Chiru~~~ Black Catz~~~ I miss you both la... == You both are like my boyfriends lo, cannot live without you guys la.. Hahaha... XDD Its like so bored and meaningless if you guys are not with me.. == Sounds so mushy and weird right? But that's the fact.. I love you guys.. Can be my boyfriends, Chiru? Catz? XDDD Just joking only ok?? XDDD But I am sure you both know that I love you guys too.. XDDD

What I am writing now is not because I want to let you guys read or what-so-ever-the-reason-is.. But I just want to express my feelings.... I really miss you guys......... =3= I wonder when is the day when we can stay together~~ *daydreaming*

Remember this picture?? See the picture quality also know when is this taken la.. XDD Next time let's play again ok? Putting creams on our faces and smash cakes on our faces too~~~ XDD
(I know I look like I a got mustache on me face~ Some more is white~ XDDD Then you both have distorted faces~~~ Hahaha, just joking ya~ XDDD)

I miss you too, twinnie~ Thanks for always listening me talking all sorts of crabs.. XDDD

*Chiru : Now only I knew you love to put out your tongue when taking picture.. XDD Last time also the same, now also the same.. XDDD*

*Catz : Looking at that picture, you changed a lot, I mean your face... Last time you look so like a child now very mature already o~~~ :D*

Confused Feelings

I think I am getting more and more not myself lately..
Running away from the fact that I have __________
I am confuse and scare of this feelings
But in some ways, I am very happy too
How do I describe..??
These weird feelings of mine...
Even though my heart knows well how it feels like
But still I do not know how to change into words...
I am not sad but feeling kind of hurt when __________ happen...
Is this what we call __________???

Make up

Trying new make up today~ Was too bored in the house.. So was trying to think of something to make up and there it is~ I thought of playing with fake eyelashes~ XDDD

After putting 4 layers of fake eyelashes on the top~

And after putting 1 fake eyelashes on the bottom of the eye~

This is how it really look like.. A zoom up shot~ :D

And last but not least, never forget to camwhore~~~~ XDDDD

I didn't really did a good job on this make up because actually the eyelashes part came off a bit and was lazy to put it back nicely... XDDD But luckily can't really see it.. == Hahaha...

Dearest

Went to sing karaoke with my dear sisters~~ So happy~ Because I was in the emo mood few days ago, so after singing all my heart out in the karaoke, I am feeling so damn good~~ XDDD We went there early because we plan to watch movie after singing karaoke.. That day, we spend money like we were a rich man.. XDDD 1st, karaoke, then Starbuck, then movie.. XDDDD WE ARE RICH!!!!!!! >DDDD

Inside the karaoke, Cheryl was trying to hide herself when I want to take a picture.. ==

After karaoke, we went to a very secret place, which is the toilet where very few people go, because this toilet is too hard to find that I doubt much people know where is this toilet.. XDDD We went there because we wanted to do our hair and make up.. XDD See Cheryl doing her hair there and Catz was like, "Ok, I am going to take a picture here because the lighting is very nice~" Hahahaha..

After doing our hair and make up, we went straight to the cinema to buy ticket. Catz wanted to watch Piranha very much but the ticket was sold out fast so we ended up watch Repomen, it was nice but scary too because I am scare of all those ugly, violent movie.. ==

We bought the later ticket, so we left a little bit of time to go to our fav Starbucks~ The biggest drink was obviously Catz 1 because she loooovessss sweet drinks.. hahahaha..

See their happy faces? Seeing them so happy makes me so happy too~ X3

Before going home, never forget to camwhore~~~ Mwahahahaha~~~ >D
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Then lately, I met my twin brother~ XDD His name is Emmanuel, he is actually Cheryl's friend but ever since that day when we cosplay in TAF (Taylor Asaban Fest), we felt that we were twins in some ways because we wore almost the same wig, both holding 1 katana and our costume was 1 black and 1 white. Even Cheryl felt that we look like twins that day.. That's when our "twins" start.. XDDD

We are the emo/stone twinz~~~~ XDDDD
*Thank you Cheryl for this picture..* X3

Wine

So many things to worry about lately. Money, study, work and more... (@A@) Sometimes I think, I rather I am still in school, ponteng everyday, that's the only think I need to worry about. Studies, its ok, I have never worry about my studies at all.. XDDD Now after school, I need to think of money and my own make up studies.. *dies*

Then lately, I have been dreaming a lot of super weird dreams.. (=A=) These dreams are so weird that when I woke up, I was like "OMFG, I hope this won't happen.." But some part of the dream, I hope it will happen because its so nice.. Hehehe..

I think maybe because I am so stress lately, everything were so not in good condition. Today when I open the door, I hurt TWICE on my finger and the worst part is, I hurt the same finger.. TTATT Its so pain and now it is swollen.. *sigh* I am really having a bad day... Stress turns to my emo...

All I need now is a bottle of wine~ XD Drink, forget everything and just sleep... I love you, dear wine.. Only you can chill me down for awhile...

Forbidden Words

Isn't it funny when you want to express something out but you can't?
Not to say you can't but is just that, it is like a taboo.
You knew it from the start that if you express it out, it will spoil everything.
So you made a promise to yourself and to your heart,
You won't express it out,
You won't do anything,
And won't even think of it.

"Time will heal my broken heart." That's what you keep reminding yourself.
But thoroughly, you know.. Your heart is crying in pain,
The misery of not expressing it out.
And still, you don't want to care and keep carrying on this misery so nothing bad will happen.
Your heart bleeds internally,
Your tears was forbid to drop,
And you laugh like nothing ever happen.

You spread your broken wings to fly away from this feelings
Even when you are too tired, you still choose to fly and not to rest.
You thought that this is the best solution for this confusion in your heart.
All of these feelings in your heart are just dreams that can't be reach.
"It is fated, so just give up." That's what you carved in your mind.
You gave up everything and choose to let it go
You decided to only keep this feelings for yourself and never want to let anyone know.


- I had a friend called and chat with me just now, expressing her sorrow to me. She was sad that she can't tell anybody about this because she was scare it might ruin everything or laugh by people. She has never been good at expressing herself that sometimes I even try to patiently listens to her... *sigh* Hope she get well soon... -